The Britney Comeback -- A Risk Analysis

Risk Statement	Impact (1-5)	Probability (1-5)	Exposure: ImpactxProbability	Mitigation Action
Popstar not capable of getting through interview without using the "word" 'y'all.'	3	5	15	Immediately begin covert pro-south advertising campaign called "Y'all are people too" or "Let me hear y'all yee-haw!" in hopes of endearing the music listening public to the vernacular and dialect of rural Louisiana
Abs not what they used to be. Popstar resistant to crunches, fickle public resistant to pudgy pop stars.	4	4	16	Convert popstar to Buddhism, leak story that belly is homage to her spiritual leader.
Popstar may become or may already be pregnant with the baby of her skeezy paparazzi boyfriend.	3	5	15	Chastity belt.
Popstar apt to flash her girly bits without warning.	3	4	12	Chastity belt mitigation suggested for above risk should address this as well. 2 birds, 1 very strong piece of metal.
Cheetos addiction leads to unsightly orange stains on clothing.	4	5	20	Signature color!

This Worries Me

How it Should Have Gone Down

ABC Reporter: So there you have it Joe, Obama has taken the lead in this impor--

ABC News Anchor (Joe): Bob, sorry to cut in here but we have some important news developments coming out of our LA affiliate, we’re going live to CeCe Hernandez who is on the scene

CeCe: Jose I am reporting from outside of Britney Spears’ mega huge house of fun and there is a flurry of activity here. It appears the Miss Spears has finally lost it. We hear that she has locked herself in the bathroom with her children and may or may not be spreading strawberry frosting on the floor to serve as a force field against the multitudes of police and firemen currently breaking down the door. This reporter thinks that the chica may be loco in the cabeza. Back to you Joe.

Joe: Thank you CeCe. This is ABC news, always bringing you the important stories of the day, now a message from our sponsor, Sandwiches Bigger Than Your Head.

What Actually Happened

ABC Dude: blah blah Iowa blah blah Obama blah blah you can totally use caucus as any form of speech the caucus caucused caucus caucusly.

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16 HOURS pass

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Brianna: WTF? Britbrit went crazy and I MISSED IT?!?! Why kind of media are we fostering here? I mean I care about the presidential race as much as the next girl but DUDES you have got to prioritize.